"Tuddle"

Another clue to "Cora-eese": hard "c" or "k" sounds usually come out as "t" sounds. She calls herself "Tara", or more acurately "Tawra". And she often requests to "tuddle" after reading books, before going to bed. We've been in the habit of reading a book or two before any sleep time since she was about 6 months old. It's a wonderful time to connect together, relax and prep for sleep. A few months ago we added cuddling to the routine. At first, we just couldn't resist when our little girl was asking to cuddle with us, so we happily agreed to indulge her for a few more minutes before insisting she go to sleep. It turned into an expectation fairly quickly. Neither Brad nor I ever mind much because it only lasts about 1-2 minutes and then off to bed she goes and it's so rare that she just sits in our laps for more than 10 seconds before running off to do something else.

Recently I also started thinking that Cora not only expects but also needs that cuddle time. She is working so hard at being a "big girl" all day: going potty, getting dressed, getting in and out of the carseat, feeding herself, picking up toys, pretending to make "befest" (breakfast). All day she insists "Cora do it!" When it's cuddle time she curls up in my arms like she did as a baby and gets a few minutes where nothing is expected of her except to rest.

A week or so ago Cora and I had had a particularly difficult morning together. I was grateful for nap time and hopeful that it wouldn't turn into a struggle. After the obligitory two books, she curled up into me and said "tuddle" in with a tired sigh. I held her close, thankful that she seemed relaxed. We rocked in silence and as I was about to tell her it was time for bed I heard deep, rythmic breathing. She had fallen asleep in my arms in a matter of minutes! Tars started streaming from my eyes as I remembered reading somewhere that to have someone fall asleep in your arms is a sign of total trust. What a healing moment after such a difficult, trying morning! I sat there for another 20 minutes just enjoying knowing that I am Cora's mommy, and even after a whole morning that seemed like she hated me, she still finds comfort and safety with me. Everything was "OK" again.

I will always cherish the memory of my sleeping toddler cuddled in my arms.