Cora and daddy having fun playing with the bathroom mirrors.
38 weeks pregnant. I don't think I look this big in real life...maybe I'm in denial.
My OB did say last week she thinks I am bigger than with Cora's pregnancy, even though everything is measuring just right. Here's my question - how does she remember from 2 years ago? I had to look at pictures to compare myself.
We had a really humid day last week. Brad came home from work and saw Cora's curly-que lock of hair on her forehead and asked me if I had used a curling iron! (No...)
Dirty hands wiping hair out of face cause "dinosaur prints" on little girl's forehead.
Reality: We potty trained Cora back in January. Seemed to go well and smoothly for a little while, but I quickly started taking control and telling her to go potty all the time rather than waiting and letting her tell me when she had to go (which was the key to the method we used). She started having lots of accidents if I wasn't paying attention and we realized the problem we had created - she was no longer paying attention to her body since I had taken over. So we "retrained" this spring. We definitely saw an improvement, but Cora continues to have about one accident a week while awake but generally never wets the bed during nap or night time. (We do take her to the toilet when we go to bed but then she is good until morning.)
Recently we've had a spurt of accidents while in the car - gross, annoying, big hassle. And this week I've washed her sheets more often than I did all summer. Is this "pre-birth-regression"? Since she has never seemed to be 100% potty trained, despite the long, on-going process, I've been mentally and emotionally preparing myself for the likely fact that she will regress, possibly A LOT, after the baby is born. "After" being the key word.
And here's what I don't get: In one day she will tell us 3 times in a row that she has to go potty and sucessfully makes it to the bathroom in time with dry underwear; but later in the day goes potty in the car, and then again while playing at home with out even saying anything until after the fact. Is she "trained" but just "forgetful"? We are giving her rewards and priveleges for success, and taking priveleges away when she forgets. For a while she would get a time-out for accidents, but I think we went through a long stretch with such infrequent accidents that we forgot about time-outs. I will not punish her more than a time-out because I don't feel her accidents are anything more than just accidents. Plus I've seen other parents spank their child after each accident but with no greater success than we are having, so I don't think it's effective or appropriate.
Needless to say, I'm tired of cleaning up potty! I'm wondering if we started too early or if we had waited until this summer we would still be in the same boat. Who knows? Please pray for us with patience with her, especially as the accidents may become more frequent after the baby is born.
(A tip I learned for combating the stench of urine - presoak clothes in water with a splash of white vinegar; also you can add white vinegar to any load of laundary to combat the smell. It's worked well for us. Clothes that don't get soaked and are just rinsed with water and then are washed later still hold a smell - at least to my sensitive nose.)
Encouragement appreciated...
What cute pictures of your family!!!
ReplyDeletePotty: Oh dear. It sounds like Cora's giving you a run for your money! You'll do great "this too shall pass", right? Love ya!
LOVE the pics! Your belly may be bigger, but the rest of you looks fantastic :)
ReplyDeleteAs for the potty issue...do you have a flannel covered, waterproof pad? We have one on the change table. It soaks up the potty and leaves underneath dry... for your sanity, maybe you could put this in Cora's car seat for now so you're not constantly cleaning the seat but just the pad? And a look at the bright side, you'll have plenty of diapers to clean potty clothes with, but hopefully this wont happen as often either :) Hang in there, and then you can write this to me in a year and a half!
Kris, you always look beautiful...and Cora's curls are darling!
ReplyDeleteMy advice, and keep in mind I have a teenager...Cora will be toilet trained by the time she goes to kindergarten, right?? So let it go for now. You are going to have enough with diaper duty in a week or so, anyway, right? Don't put cleaning the car seat on yourself, too.
Toilet training is a natural process, and accidents are just that, accidents. Cora's brain needs to learn what I call a "therefore," something kids keep learning about life well into their teens...Cora's "therefore" is "I have to pee, "therefore" I should go sit on the potty." If she doesn't make it, she doesn't make it. It's not time out worthy. It's a brain development issue, and time outs won't make her brain develop any faster.
Remember, she'll be toilet trained long before kindergarten...Let her wear Pull Ups, or diapers if she needs to, but keep your sanity right now, so you can concentrate on baby boy...Regression won't hurt the process, and may even help it. Keeping both of you calm, even all 4 of you calm and happy is what you need right now. She won't remember regression. She may remember frustration, as it will lead to bad days and bad moods and all around unhappiness.
Take it easy and let God take care of it in His time. It sounds like Cora has a good grasp already. As soon as you let it go I bet she picks it right up!
Peace & Blessings,
Lara
Well said, Lara. Although I have a boy first, and I was told by everyone that boys potty train later than girls, I am still SO glad I didn't attempt it before Lindy was born. I am much happier to have two kids in diapers (Bennett only has about 3 per day) then to have to worry about potty reminders & accidents.
ReplyDeleteIt will make having baby around so much easier, and when baby is at a more manageable age (i.e, less frequent feedings, sleeping through the night) then you will have had time to regain your patience and energy level enough to deal with the potty training again. Just my thoughts on the matter.
Bennett is almost 3 and he is taking is own interest in the potty some days. we allow him to try it out here and there, but he wears diapers all the time. I'm planning to train him this fall. I think we're both going to be ready for it by then.
I can't wait for you to have your baby!!!!! You look marvelous by the way. Hope you're okay in this last week, this might be the toughest week, but OH-SO-WORTH-IT!!!!!
I agree with the other comments! I especially love the photo of Cora and the mirrors. How precious. You also look great! I also have to compliment you on your friends. I think you have some terrific, wise friends. We did the rubber pad in the car seat all the time in case of diaper leaks even. It wasn't often we needed it, but when we did it was wonderful! As for potty training thoughts I agree with your friends and can't give much further help. I had boys who trained late, but both the same day and within a day! My oldest son was really excited one day that he could "feel the sensation" of going pee and from then on he was done. You have to realize he was 4 1/2 yrs and younger brother wanted to be like big brother. You are doing great and way ahead of the game.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the responses. I have to say I think I was writing in the midst of a bout of frustration after a couple of accidents close together and now of course she hasn't had one accident since then! I wonder if my frustration made it sound worse than it is...But in all honesty the frustration comes with the cycle, I think. It seems like we go through a number of weeks with little to no accidents and I start thinking, "Maybe this is it? She's got it for good!" Then she has an accident or two and I let myself get all disappointed and wonder what I did wrong. I do my best not to show my frustration/emotion to Cora, but I can't deny that it is a frustrating thing.
ReplyDeleteThe pad under the carseat is a great idea. We folded up a towel and put that under there for now so it's at least a little easier to clean, but I'll have to try the waterproof pad.
I also think I was a little overboard that day that I was writing because someone had told Brad to just go buy a bunch of diapers for Cora because this person's experience had been that her kids totally regressed. Not encouraging, but yet that is reality in some situations!
Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. "This too shall pass"