The Gift of Thankfulness

Thankfulness is the antidote to self-pity, and a pre-requisite to joy.

The discipline of focusing on thankfulness and praise, no matter the circumstances, is changing my heart. I experienced some heavy post-partum depression last spring and it turned my heart cold and hard in some ways. I began defaulting to despair and self-pity, rather than hope and contentment. I constantly asked God to change my circumstances, rather than to change me to rise to the challenge of my circumstances.

I was able to get the physical/chemical contributors to the depression taken care of, but it's taking much more work to change my "emotional default". The key for me has been thanking God for something, anything, even when I don't feel happy about what's going on around me. One thing I'm learning however, at least for myself, is that I have to express true gratitude sincerely.

For example, when spending a night away from home I found great frustration with the bed I was sleeping on. My default reaction was to be grumpy and angry about this inconvenience and irritation. That turned into looking for someone to blame and deciding what should be done about this problem. I was having a hard time falling asleep and thinking this way was only making me more wound up and irritated and NOT helping me relax and fall asleep. (And there was nothing that could be done at that point of the night!)

Once I realized what an awful and ugly cycle I was in I knew I had to change my thought pattern if I was ever going to fall asleep. So I started trying to be thankful that I had this bed to sleep on, and this pillow, and so on and so forth. The problem was I was not actually thankful for it and all this did was make me more irritated. So I turned my attention away from my uncomfortable situation all together and thought of something I was truly thankful for. I began by thanking God for my own bed at home, my husband and children, the delicious meal earlier that day, etc. This genuine gratitude softened my heart and calmed my irritation much more quickly than the "thanking-through-my-teeth" insincerity of my first efforts.

So, while sometimes I list here things I'm thankful for (as trite as they may seem to you), I am everyday retraining my heart and mind to default to praise, gratitude, and contentment.

And it's working.