Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Sunday, December 29, 2013

2014: Who's in the driver's seat?

Peter calls to me from the back seat, "Mama, this isn't the right way home. Are we getting lost?" Or "Where are we going? Why are we going here?" He does this almost every day.

It kind of drives me nuts! I don't think I've ever actually gotten lost, at least not in the last 16 years. So not in his lifetime. I'm good with directions. I understand maps and I plan ahead to make sure I know how to efficiently get where I'm going. I do enjoy taking a different route once in a while, or just because of the series of errands we have to do we end up taking different roads than normal. Occasionally I miss a turn and we have to turn around, or a detour catches me off-guard in an area of town that I don't know very well.

But, lost? Not really!

So while it's an innocent question from his limited perspective and it's fairly humorous, it also insults me just a little when he asks me if I know how to get where we are going! I feel accused and mistrusted! I understand that from his vantage point he recognizes the familiar things on the roads that we typically drive. Perhaps he gets a little nervous when we go on unfamiliar roads. But he has no reason to doubt me! I'm his Mom! I only ever plan good things for him! I know where we're going! I have a plan!

One day in the van when I was felling more annoyed than humored about having to constantly reassure him that we're doing just fine and re-explain to him why we're going the way we're going, a little voice (Holy Spirit whisper maybe?) said, "Isn't this like you and God? Aren't you wondering if God has a plan, and knows the way? Aren't you sometimes wondering or worrying about the different route, the unknown roads, that God is bringing you down?"

Ouch. Oh me of little faith.

************
Update: I wrote that portion of the post about 2 months ago - early November. That "plan" and "unknown roads" I was referring to was the unknown future that lies ahead for us in June. When Brad finishes seminary, we have no plan other than to take a call to a church. That in itself comes with many unknowns. Our only guarantee is that we have major change coming. Sometimes a scary thought. Since this reminder that God is my loving parent in the driver seat, and I'm the one in the booster seat in the back I've been washed over with a renewed peace in regards to our future.

And Peter doesn't ask as often if I know how to get where I'm going.

2014 will be a year of change, no doubt for all of us in some way. May the God of Peace comfort you, too, as you encounter the unknown and the new.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Things that go bump and the prayers of a child

Peter has been suffering from bad dreams for a quite few weeks now. Almost every night he wakes up screaming in terror or comes running into our room, terrified. It's very sad to see him so tormented. But is has been getting better recently, thankfully. He has started praying at his bedtime "Dear Lord, please keep the bad dreams out of me, and give me good angels."  It's touching to hear him adopt his own version of the prayers that we say with him in the middle of the night after a bad dream as his own. 

He also has been very excited about praying before our meals. He often says his prayers like this: "Dear God, thank you for our food. I really bless you for..." followed by whatever toy, friend or fun event he's thankful for and also for someone he's asking God to help, which lately is his recently injured uncle.

Cora also takes her turn praying. She starts with the memorized "God is Great" prayer and then follows it up with thanking God for her family and friends, and asking him to help the people in, (Where is the place with the really bad storm? she always asks), the Philippines.

Addie is cluing in to the prayer time, too. She folds her hands sometimes and mimics the sing-song tune of God is Great. It's very sweet. But most of the time she just wants her food-now!

May these family prayer times penetrate their spirits, so that Philippians 4:6-7 is a daily reality for them and they choose to turn to God in prayer in every situation: 

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Paci and Teddy

Aaahhh, Paci and Teddy. What would we have done with out you? 
Paci was a necessity since Peter was a baby. We've been getting up in the middle of the night for 3 years to find the missing paci for our son. We've struggled to keep track of it around the house, to restrict its use to only bedtime, and finally to convince Peter he's too big for Paci. 
 Teddy was an accident. He came in a box of handed down clothes when Peter was a newborn. We used the soft little animal to stuff one of the corners between the crib and the mattress so Paci wouldn't fall through the crack and down under the crib. At around 9 months (?) we started finding Teddy pulled out of the corner each morning and after each nap. We'd always stuff him back down, but Peter kept pulling him out. And so began a friendship. Teddy is not only a bedtime buddy, but a playmate and a source of comfort. (Click here for a picture of 1 year old Peter giving Teddy a ride on his shoulders - something he still does!) I admit I've been jealous when Peter is sad and crying and just wants his Teddy! But Teddy has been worn out, literally. Here is a picture of his most recent state. Brad and I often think of the story of the Velveteen Rabbit when we see poor Teddy.
Well, it's the end of an era: We offered Peter a trade-in for Paci. If he threw his pacifiers in the garbage dumpster he would get a toy castle/fortress. We had pre-purchased it this fall but decided to wait for Christmas break, in case the weaning of the pacifier caused sleep disturbances then at least school work wouldn't suffer. So the first weekend Brad was done with school we told Peter what we had for him, showed him it, and told him to tell us when he was ready to throw away Paci. Within a couple days he was ready...and so were we. Peter was such a big boy and proud of himself, throwing it in the dumpster himself. He was thrilled with the castle and didn't say anything about wanting Paci until today, almost two weeks later! He has not had a problem going to sleep or staying asleep at night, and is even still usually taking a nap. 
I admit, I'm so surprised. 
We were prepared for a battle and serious sleep-time repercussions.  I guess this is a child who makes up his mind and sticks with it and this is a way in which it is a good thing!

How have you helped your children wean (or go cold-turkey) from a pacifier or other comfort item? 

By the way, Brad sewed Teddy a new body! We joked about Teddy undergoing surgery and when Brad showed Peter Teddy 2.0 his response was, "Teddy! You're back!" 
So cute. 

Sunday, May 06, 2012

I'm a Big Boy now!

Peter has recently gone on a baby strike. A few weeks ago we moved him out of the crib and into his "big boy bed", the bottom bed of the bunk bed. He transitioned like a champ! He was definitely ready. He had been asking for a couple weeks if he could sleep in the big boy bed so I think when the time came he knew it was a big deal and he's done such a good job. We are so proud of him!
Since then he has started boycotting other things that are baby-like: sippy cups, his booster seat at the table and most recently, diapers. Yes, diapers.

I was waiting till he was staying dry through naps or at least for an hour or so during the day before I was going to attempt potty training. And since we were getting closer and closer to Baby's due date I figured we would just be waiting until the end of the summer. However last week he told us he wanted to be all done with diapers and tried to persuade us a few times to let him wear underwear to bed at night! We didn't give in but told him that he had to keep his underwear dry all day before he could wear them to bed at night. (We would occasionally let him wear underwear for 20 or 30 minutes at home in the mornings and it was pretty exciting for him, but he'd often have accidents and then we'd change him back to a diaper.)

Since Peter seemed convinced he really wanted to be done wearing diapers I thought we'd try it at home for a few days. The first day in underwear he had a few accidents but always ran to the toilet to try to finish. Then we had a busy weekend and didn't do any practice times. This week I had a pretty open schedule during the mornings so we tried some more just for the portion of the day that we were at home. He totally surprised me! He has been yelling "Potty" with his standard level of great enthusiasm and runs to the toilet before getting wet. He has only had a couple accidents and those were while we were outside playing and he first told me "Potty", then changed his mind and said he didn't want to go inside. He's not the easiest one to persuade to do what he doesn't want to do and since we were outside anyway having an accident maybe is a good way for him to learn that lesson (I hate cleaning potty off floors more than off of clothes!) He even has been staying dry during nap times and for periods of time as long as 4 hours! And he's even figured out how to do most of it on his own, only needing help pulling his pants back up when he's done. I'm completely surprised. I feel like I've totally underestimated him! I think the only hang up right now is that he doesn't seem to want to go to the bathroom while in public (and just holds it till we get home!), or when with someone other than me or Brad. He's not staying dry all night but he is at least willing to wear a diaper to bed at night.


I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much about this, even though it's exciting to see him doing so well since this was really his idea. But knowing how many changes are coming up soon makes me suspect we may have a regression or just some more 2 year old defiance on our hands in the next few months. But for now it's impressive to see him putting his mind to this and succeeding!

Monday, January 02, 2012

How to describe a 2 year old boy...

I've been meaning to write about Peter as a two year old since his birthday. After thinking for months of what words to use to describe his complex personality, this is what I've come up with...
Enthusiastic
Adorable
Adoring
Hilarious
Charming
Antagonistic
Intense
Varied
Determined

These are things that he gets really excited about:
Trucks, Trains, Airplanes, Tools, Motorcycles, Friends and Family (basically people that love him), Bob the Builder, Thomas the Train, Construction vehicles, Tractors, Paci and Teddy

Lately he's been wanting to have a turn to pray at each meal. This is his typical prayer: (in a hushed voice) "Uncle Eric, Leyton, Baby, Auntie Deb, Uncle Eric, Leyton, Baby, Auntie Deb, (in a loud voice) AMEN!" He actually calls Eric "Uncle Brad" and can't pronounc Leyton very well, but the God knows what he means! One time a few days ago he added on to his prayer with: dump truck, teddy, choo choo track, apple pie, AMEN! It was pretty hilarious!

Many days we feel like our Two Year Old Peter has enough enthusiasm for the whole family. He keeps us on our toes, he keeps us laughing, and he keeps us praying for more patience and wisdom.

He still is a consistently early riser: 5:30 am every day. Occassionally we won't hear him till 6, but anything after that is a dream! For a long time we had him taking a nap after lunch, but deep down I knew that wasn't the best for him, since he is up so early. But it was too hard to change with the schedules we had going until this fall. Finally I decided to try it and it's been so much better. Now he naps from around 11 am till 1 or 2 pm. He can wait till after lunch if we go out in the morning, but he usually is too tired to eat lunch and will ask to go to bed by then! After he gets up we have plenty of time to run errands or go play before having to come home and make dinner. After dinner it's often bathtime or a little more time to play, we read a book and to bed at 7:30 or 8. He doesn't sing himself to sleep very often anymore like he did when he was younger. BUT, he does sleep all the way through the night. We rarely hear a peep from him till morning. That is, if you think that 5:30 am is morning...


Peter, Smile!

Show me a happy face!

Show me a mad face.

Show me a sad face.
Peter loves sharing a room with Cora and is very excited for his turn to sleep in the bottom portion of the bunk bed that is waiting for him. We made it past Christmas, which is what I was hoping for, with out him climbing out of the crib. So in about a week we're going to attempt the big switch to the big boy bed! So much for not hearing a peep till morning...We'll see how he handles being a big brother in June.

We love him so much and we're so proud of him. He's been exploding with words lately and impresses us with how well he knows his truck and tracker terminology. Two year old little boys really are a lot of fun!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Backtracking from a Bear

I am backtracking a bit telling this story, but I missed most of July and this story keeps coming up. So let me share it with you. The four of us enjoyed a few days at the cabin before moving to MI. The cabin is undergoing an addition, so it was a construction zone and made for a different kind of cabin experience than what is typical. Brad was eager to help his dad and brother, Greg, and spent most of the time on the roof of the addition. Instead of peaceful breezes and the hummingbird sounds the air was filled with hammering (one of Peter's new favorite words) and the roar of the generator.

The first morning we were there the guys got to work as soon as breakfast devotions were finished. Cora, Peter and I decided to get some exercise and adventure in while the morning was still cool so we headed up the mountain. Cora hiked the whole way up all by herself, to the spring. We stopped often admiring a few wildflowers and sparkly stones. Cora has taken to picking flowers for me and I adorn myself with her show of love. Peter walked and rode on my back intermittently. Once we made it to the spring we decided that was far enough and started heading back down. As we turned around, I got that creepy "someone in watching you through the woods" kind of feeling that, I'm told, even the truest of outdoorsmen get at times. I found myself a large "walking stick" since I had no other form of self-defense. I silently convinced myself that it was just my imagination and that no one has seen anything like a bear for 6 years, since Brad and I had our friendly encounter with Mr. Curious Black Bear. I continued to reason that we had been making so much noise that anything larger than a squirrel would be far away from us. But just to be sure I decided we should sing a hiking song...The only thing I could come up with was "The Ants go Marching". Apparently I was not feeling large in stature. As we hiked down, singing I occasionally whacked nearby trees with my stick. Peter thought that was fun so he picked up a stick and started hitting trees, too.

As we came out of the woods back onto the road we saw Mom coming up to join us. I then realized we'd been gone quite a long time and that even with all of our singing and echo-making, no one down at the cabin could hear our noise over their own. I felt comforted that another adult (although similarly as defenseless as myself) had joined us, and we were headed back to the company of the men so I shook off the creeps.

That evening we had dinner guests. I can't help but share that one was a high school teacher turned stay at home mom! Oh, and the other was just a retired astronaut. (I kid: it was intriguing to meet a man who's been in space and to hear what it was like, and what it was like for his wife.) That night at dinner we all shared our wildlife encounter stories. Right afterwards when I brought Cora out to the outhouse my hackles rose again. Something shook the bushes and I tried not to startle Cora. She's already added bears to the list of things we pray for safety from each night. So I put on my "everything's fine and I'm very confident" face and told her there was a squirrel in the bushes. We made some noise and my keen eyes couldn't see anything bigger than a squirrel, so we braved it to the outhouse and back. 

Morning #2: We wanted to get some more adventure time in before the day got too hot and this time Mom said she'd take us on the road she likes to walk, which was down the hill this time. I agreed that this would be great so we could see some different sights and find new things! Brad, Greg and Dad were already hard at work, the roof was almost done. So off we went, the four of us - Mom and I, Cora and Peter - totally unprepared for adventure. We should know better, given both of our histories with adventure at the cabin. I think we were prepared against sunburn and that was about it! We started off down the road from the cabin. Cora likes to be the leader so she was well in front of us with her little walking stick. Peter trotted on his own between Mom and I.

Well, wouldn't you know, about 100 feet out the door, before I even had a chance to get the creeps this time, out from the bushes on the North side of the road saunters a black bear. These are the thoughts that crossed my mind in a millisecond: "he doesn't even appear to have noticed us even though we're SO CLOSE!", "how did they get those big yellow tags in his ears and why are they there? is he dangerous?", and "Cora hasn't noticed the bear yet even though it's about 20 feet away and just about to cross the road right in front of her!!!!" At this point I yelled to her, "Cora, STOP, COME HERE, THERE'S A BEAR!" She turned and ran to me like she thought the bear was chasing her, I scooped up Peter and grabbed Cora's hand and we ran back to the cabin. Mom was yelling to the Brad and Greg on the roof, "There's a bear!!" and it took them a few times to understand and then believe us. They launched off the roof - I think partly jealous and partly alarmed - and asked for details. We stood on the deck, feeling safe on our turf, and pointed to where we first saw him and the direction he was headed. Apparently we hadn't scared him off. He had continued his leisurely jaunt across the road into the thick woods on the Southern hillside. The men took off to catch a better look at him, to see him with their own two eyes and Mom and I stayed in our safe zone on the deck and calmed down the kids. Both were crying and upset! Poor kids! Cora claimed she was crying because she "didn't see the bear". I'm still not sure if that means she was so alarmed that a bear could be that close without her noticing, or that she was disappointed to have not gotten to see it with her own to eyes since she was running away. (I'm so thankful she didn't stop and and look for it or say, "What?" It was one of those times when she needed to obey instantly, the way you always hope your children will.)  

Once Cora calmed down I carried her down the road a bit, following Brad. We had seen the bear climb up through the trees and could see him sitting there looking at us, sniffing the air. We were still only a few steps from the cabin deck but could watch him quite nicely. He did not seem at all disturbed that we were there and after a while he got up and walked away, over the hill to the next canyon. That was all we saw of him.

Fast forward 3 weeks: Peter doesn't have very many words in his almost 2 year old vocabulary, but one of his favorite things to say is, "Stop, Bear!" It doesn't come out very clearly so strangers just think he's yelling at them. But when it's appropriate we share our new "bear story" with friends and Peter's face glows with pride and amazement. He must have gotten a good look at that black bear and has it fixed in his memory! He also likes to play bear (or some sort of scary creature). The game goes like this: he roars at us, we act terrified, then he laughs. Repeat. Yesterday, he was playing that lovely game with Cora and I. This time Cora changed the rules. When he roared, she yelled "BEAR!" and we ran away, thinking Peter would laugh like usual and chase us. Wrong! He started crying! He froze right where he was and cried. At first I was confused because we were playing one of his favorite games and he also loves to play chase so we had combined two of his favorite things - what could he not like about that? When it registered that he was crying his scared cry and not his mad cry I went back to him and hugged him and asked him if he was scarred. He nodded yes and said "Bear". I think he thought we were running away from a real bear and had left him behind! 

So, while we continue to reassure both kids that there are not bears wandering in the heavy woods that surround our new home (although we're not sure what might be), and we try to remind them that wild animals really are scared of us and want to leave us alone (and we should leave them alone, too), I'm going to be more prepared next time I take my kids on "an adventure" just in case we're further than 100 feet away from the cabin, or another place I feel protected.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

A few things to remember #111-120




The bittersweet truth of having young children in one' life is this old adage: "this too shall pass". While it's a comfort during a trying phase to know that it is, in fact, a phase and will pass soon, it's also the subtly sour aftertaste to each moment when a treasure has been offered, but the treasure can only remain in one's heart.

The kind of moments that make you want to be a better person for the sake of that child.


Peter is 18 months, now! A year ago I felt as though we may not make it through his first year, and his first birthday was a true milestone marker if not more for Brad and I than for him. His second year is flying by! Every day Brad and I find ourselves laughing at (ahem, with) Peter and his new, adorable, or naughty antics that he's developing. He is full of personality: sometimes fiesty and sometimes charming; always determined!

I keep thinking lately that there a some cute little habits that both Peter and Cora have right now that I don't ever want to forget. I know someday they'll outgrow them and move past this stage. The "lasts" often go unnoticed, while the "firsts" get celebrated. Most of these are moments that a photo can't capture, and I'm not sure words can either. But I need to try, for my memory's sake. Here's to remembering...


I'm thankful for and want to be able to always recall:
#111. the way Peter lays teddy on my shoulder, then lays his head on teddy like a pillow while I'm cuddling him at bedtimes...

#112. the way Cora runs to me, arms wide open, yelling with joy, "Mooommmmyyyy!!!!" when I pick her up from preschool...

#113. the way Peter pretends to be shy with other adults, turning his head to the side and lifting up his shoulder in a gentle denial of their offered affection...

#114. the way Cora wiggles her head and shoulders when she's trying explain something too quickly while brushing it off as not that important...

#115. the way Brad can make Peter and Cora giggle like no one else can...

#116. the way that Peter obsessively puts on Cora's shoes and proudly walks around the house with them, often over his footy pajamas...

#117. the way Cora talks about herself as a big girl, and that anything in her past (even 2 months ago) was when she was a "little girl"...

#118. the way Peter hums himself to sleep...

#119. something I've nicknamed "The Mummy Walk": it usually happens when Peter is just a tad too tired and something has upset him; he puts his arms out in front of him with limp hands (picture a mummy, right?) and walks his stiff-legged attempt at a run towards me, usually crying- mouth open and eyes closed. If he were wrapped in toilet paper (please don't give him that idea, though!) he really would look like the portrayal of a mummy! While it's a sad moment for him, my mommy (not mummy) heart smiles a tad, because I'm the one he wants in his moment of distress. It's a twisted part of motherhood...I know!
#120. As you can see, we were able to spend some time at the cabin (also with Mom and Dad B.). I'm thankful for that time together, even with the challenges that come with having two youngsters along!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Media Advice

CommonSenseMedia
Just wanted to share this useful website. I like that they rank movies and other media by age-appropriateness and they make it clear how and why they ranked it that way. You can see the average parent rankings and comments. (Kids can also review and rank movies and their opinions are separated from the parents'.) The website also gives ideas for how to discuss the movies with your kids. This is at least a way to have an idea about a movie before showing it to your kids.

For example, our neighbors recently gave Cora an extra copy of the movie "Cars". Check here for how details, but Common Sense Media actually ranks the movie as "On" for 5 years and up. Since Cora is four, I checked into why, since I've seen the movie a number of years ago and don't remember anything that I would find too inappropriate for her. It turns out that (I think) they made it 5 and up because they say "the movie is a little long and may be too long for younger kids". The average parents' ranking is 3 and up and after reading a few reviews by parents I decided that this would be a fine movie for Cora to watch.

Many people see that a movie is rated G for general audiences, but don't take into account the actual content and messages of the movie. G rated movies may be inappropriate for young children.

I'd like to hear from you: How do you decide what's appropriate for your children to watch? At what age did you start talking with them about the movies and tv shows they were watching and do you have any advice about that? How do you explain to your kids that some movies or shows are not fit for them to watch? 

How about books, for the older kids reading chapter books? Do you preread their books or read the same book along with them?

We all know to look out for obviously inappropriate content of sexuality and violence, but how far do you take it? Is a scantily clad, volumptuous cartoon character who swoons over a man she doesn't even know, defies her father, and sells herself into slavery for an unlikely chance of getting the stranger to fall in love with her sound like a movie you would show to a 4 year old? It's a "sweet movie" and loved by many adults, has fun songs and a whimsical premise...but does that make it a great movie for young children?

Cora soaks up everything. I can't pretend that she's not going to absorb both the subtle and overt messages she's exposed to, even at this young age. I don't want her thinking that all of life is about the pursuit of romance, or that "true love's kiss" will solve all her problems. Isn't that what many movies targeted at young girls suggest?

Just something to think about....